Thursday, November 10, 2011

Hamakua: spirit animal, guardian

Ode to the Hamakua
The Primitive Song

Animal spirits howl,
Whistling in the winds of past progressions
Harsh seasons sweep seeds of life,
With faint recollections and lasting perceptions.
Impressionable sounds, molecular residue, dejavu, magical voodoo,
A polyphonic and harmonic, resonating tune.
As the mountain lion roars, humbles the tone, serenades the moon.
Strong sun,
Rays melting the morning fog of the unfinished night.
settled by lovers’ end,
Still, bowing clouds beyond the rolling plateaus
peeking above the horizon’ s morning light.
Timeless tales lost by impenetrable trails, tracks in the sand,
Footprints devoured by the changes of the land.
Animal spirits prowl
As wind gusts tumble hitch hikers down long dirt roads,
and the spring and autumn months segue with the sun,
new life and new earth transform for the wanderers of lust,
as the gatekeepers keep watch, stargaze into the heavens,
and yell down to us, “We are all One.”
Sharp sun,
As spirit fingers reach across the horizon,
And remind us of our souls’ inadvertent disguises.
The waterbearers, dreamseekers, deck hands, and forest dwellers work on,
With our able hands and feet,
We bend rays into rainbows with our pure and honest sight.
As martyrs between lust and reason, passion and trust.
We hold the key to the well-oiled machine
The strength of our song, and the passionate youth learn to sing,
Honoring the mountains facing a clear and sunny east.

Thursday, July 28, 2011


A quick moment of relapse to the beginning of the past 5 years...
Chapters close and reopen in my life every 6 months. At 19 years old, I started to feel the itch. Even during the boisterous years of schooling, I took waves of opportunity finding myself driving across the country on a national parks tour, as well as living in New York City for 3 months pursuing a music business career. My bachelor’s degree set me up to be fearless, not for an entry level job. After they sent me my diploma in the mail, I no longer was obligated to sign leases or enroll in programs. Now the future was open to itself. It’s been 3 years since college and I have relocated at least 6 times. Right after school, I moved to Orlando working a steady job wondering how I’m going to root back in my hometown when I’m feeling so incredibly alienated by my ambition. I woke up almost every day with an internal monologue resonating that there’s got to be something more to life than this. Three months later, my mom suggested that we both leave together left for a sabbatical in the mountains of Colorado to learn yoga. We came home and I was slightly worried whether this newfound spiritual freedom was going to help me or hurt me amidst the hustle and bustle of normalcy. I sensed the fire in my spirit and could not deny how disproportionate my heart felt against my skin. I found myself working steady in a restaurant, days in and days out, making tons of money. After a few weeks of work, I was making enough money only to put my finances towards another leave. Six months later I planned a trip to China, which was the last place in the world I thought I’d end up. But, for the sake of wanderlust, I left with eyes and mind open. Four months later, I came home and came up with a beautiful plan to open a yoga studio to teach this open heart practice to others. I began working in a bar to support my yoga career which in turn revealed itself as the antithesis of what I was attempting to foster. I wished to be a beacon of light and purity, but I was showing up to class on Monday mornings reeking of alcohol. I was making all the money in the world, but I was completely losing the luster of the practice. How could I tell people how to be spiritual and healthy without actually being it myself? Then, Hawaii called. I picked up the telephone one afternoon. On the other line was an acquaintance I knew from school that had just moved to Kauai, Hawaii and he was certain that she was a perfect fit. I was already considering other places at this point in time. No matter how wonderful the studio looked on paper, it was not sustaining my ability to dive head first into its commitment. I wanted to fight for it, but the emotions inside of me pulled my intentions elsewhere. There was still more spirit that needs to be dug up before I can reveal it. Six months later, I left for east side Big Island. This was a true testament to starting from the ground up.

What a Trip

He was shirtless with broad shoulders and sun bleached locks. At first sight, I didn’t look twice. I said hello politely, as he would often come into the market to buy a huge tub of yogurt and spirulina and continue on his way. One day I was stacking the dairy shelf proclaiming how I was disenchanted by the west side. Frankly, I gave up looking for any fun hikes, fun people, or fun places to explore. I was bored. So bored in fact, I started complaining to myself at work about it. Standing right behind me, I hear a voice extending his way of an invitation. If you’re into rock climbing, I got a hike for you. I got a little excited, and completely abandoned my vow to stay away from blonde surfer boys. We met each other and exchanged numbers. I didn’t remember until later that his name was Fred. My next immediate thought is how weird it would be to say “oh yes, Fred…” in bed.
That following afternoon, I met Fred at his apartment. Three minutes later, we dropped two hits of liquid LSD and drove up to tall cliffs to descend down from in a steep exploration unknown to us. This could be amazingly fun adventure or it could be a disaster between worlds if we don’t trip out on the same planes. I often find myself abstaining from taking acid. This time, I just said what the hell, this guy is just a little surfer boy, can’t see any harm in getting naked with him.
Intentions laid the groundwork for good vibes. The weather was incredibly permitting as it illuminated the electricity of every single flower and rock we climbed past. We smoked a bowl to ease the transition and rattled off as much as we could about ourselves before we were mute with satiety. We started driving up the Honoloa cliffs, and past old Hawaiian villages, stepping up in altitude and piling on sensory stimulation. By time we reached the trail head, I was already chewing on my lips. I tried to get as many words as I could in, before I was twisted with hallucinations and disbelief. My jaw dropped and drooled as we began our descent down to Chutes and Ladders’ hike, leading us to ropes to hang on to and repeal down cliffs into the ravenous ocean side. By the bottom of the bay, three brackish water pools rose and fell with the tides. The water was silk. We slivered in and splashed around with our eyes open. Every time I flipped around the water, electricity radiated my limbs. Every time I clambered over the lava rocks, I felt jolts of energy running up my spine. I was so thankful my companion was well behaved even though we were naked. We enjoyed each other bodies and experiences, relinquishing physical attraction to a spiritual dimension, leaving all that unknown intimacy to the ocean deep.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Big Blanks

I spent the first week here partying. I landed with the intentions to immediately set up shop with the few hundred dollars I had left in my account. I wasn't sure how much money I had exactly, but I imagined it being way more because I knew the true amount wasn't nearly enough to cover me. I hopped off the plane with elation and anticipation regardless of preparation.
First destination was a small-time energy gathering called Mystic Island Festival to help me get acquainted with Maui. I woke up every morning for yoga and danced the day away at the Olawalu Beach camp with about 300 other freelovin' hippies, raw foodies, musicians, energy workers, and ambassadors of Maui's cool clan. We jumped up and down, and aumed, paddle boarded, drank akalized water, put on funny costumes, and went to bed early enough to catch the sunrise. By Saturday night, I felt extremely revitalized, energized, aroused, relaxed, and... restless! That night, I followed an instinct to manifest a different dance spot to bust this great energy out.I snuck away to a raver beach party at sunset and watched fire dancers blast flames across the gold and pink clouds setting at the horizon. The clouds parted, revealing the most enchanting mixture of colors across the sky, and I understood... Maui's inspiration comes from a sweet and natural high, encrusted deep into her earth. Just to participate as a woman on her shores is an honor. I realized at that moment that there is nothing other than love. And, in that is respect and consciousness. I respect the soft and sensual welcoming that Maui has sent, and I return with my stamp of love and gratitude for her.
Although I still found time to spend mornings and sunsets alone and meditatively, I was still whirled into the party scene. Viles of ecstacy honey and bottles of champagne covered the hotel room floor, as well as 4 pairs of panties, and 5 naked girls passed out around them. I wore pink lacey langerie and paraded down the hallways of the Westin, convincing myself that I was still on my spiritual journey, only I was expanding my confidence levels in erotic ways. After surrendering the fact that I shot 4 patrons, a glass of chardonnay and licked ecstacy honey off this girl's chest, I grabbed my backpack and headed for a job search.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Replacing Bullets with Rainbows

Maui swept me up in free love and rainbows immediately as I stepped off the plane. I walked to the baggage claim, and then right past it since a backpack was all I had. I parked on a bench to take a few deep yogi breaths and surrender my anxious spirit along with a strong spine and open eyes.
I exited my chariot out of the sky, recalling the slight bit of plane turbulence from thick clouds reluctant to travel but coaxed into movement by adventurous eastern winds heading west. I boarded the flight, traveling towards the setting sun, leaving my ego at the doorstep, and taking a leap across the eastern channel, separating Big Island and Maui, from one existence into completely redefining another.
Beyond the shuttles and terminals, the clouds patterned a blue and white checkerboard against the atmosphere’s open spaces. The glowing coast of Io Valley peaked high out of the sky standing her ground against the majesty of the sun. Its rays melted off the thick haze, making way for rain. Within minutes two rainbows appeared as a mist from a lonely cloud which showered the pavement right in front of me. No one else was looking up but that was probably because they had so much baggage to keep track of down below.
On the ground level, I heard faint chirps of birds in the background and gentle murmur of planes on the move. It was practically 6 months since I encountered families with luggage and loud voices. I had become more accustomed to the sound of frogs and raindrops than cars and people. Little bubbles of doubt smoldering in my gut, as I was trying to come up and predict what new beginnings Maui was going to bring forth. A deep breath is a sigh of certainty is my exhalation and reminder that the universe has put my wheels in motion and I better just honor the track. There’s no use in questioning what has already begun. I am living in a simultaneous existence with my future, and if the only visible signs before me are of smiling faces and rainbows, then there’s no use in dwelling.
I walked through the airport, leaving all my emotional baggage at the airport, and walking off into the shower with a backpack and a new perspective. I meandered slowly coming up with a loose plan. I called the only face I knew on Maui, and waited shortly after to board Robyn’s little V-bug alien space car as we zoomed away from the airport. My girl came prepared with a pre-rolled doobie as we blazed it out the cab until a soft haze distorted my view of past. The silhouette of Big Island remained on my left shoulder as we zipped around the Palis and switched back through the mountain gulches. I rolled the windows down and launched half my torso at the side of the car, so that I could fling my arms into the open future. I popped back into the cab. Robyn asked me what I really wanted to do while I was here.
I heard of the playful energy of Maui, and was convinced the island was already flirting with me. I hadn’t even stepped onto the sand yet and I was already tearing up and savoring moments. Girl, I sat on the bench and saw the most beautiful rainbows and mountains transform before my eyes, I hadn’t even left the airport yet! Big Island had a lot of rain, but not so many rainbows. I told her I was looking for a romantic getaway, and hit the joint with a hexing smile.